Interviewing

Nadine Loren

Nadine Loren is a character. You cannot get comfortable around her. She keeps you on your toes and does so ruthlessly. At the same time, she is a sweetheart. Nadine is Ambassador Ashley Loren’s mother, though she does not look like it. Not anymore. Cooperative medicine is miraculous. I look forward to seeing how I look when I hit the seventies.

I bumped into her at the Apartment Embassy, and she invited me to her house on Legracia. That was a nice change of pace. Normally I have to track them down and sit with them wherever they were to interview them. She preferred the comfort of her own home.

Her house is a houseboat that was plugged into an existing lake community on Legracia. Steven Crow brought her house from Seattle and just plopped it by a floating walkway, and the rest is history. Her neighbors live in trunk cavities of thick trees that grow from the lake bed. Some live on floating islands in living homes that look like tightly woven brambles sealed indoors with some sort of ceramic material. It was really nice touring them. Decks and walkways are thick mats of growing plants that float on the surface of the lake near the shore. They’re a little spongy, but still amazingly firm to walk on.

But I digress…

~ ~ ~

Nadine: They don’t have fleas, do they?

ME: [Looks at Ma’ya and Eve] Um…

Nadine: I don’t want fleas in my house.

Eve: [Looks at the fur on her arm and picks at it]

ME: I don’t think…

Nadine: Do they have collars?

ME: Flea collars?

Nadine: No, stupid. Turtle collars. What other collars would they wear?

ME: [Probably looking like a deer in the headlights] Um…

Nadine: [laughs so hard she doubles down] I did that to Steven. You greenhorns are just too easy.

ME: Um…

Nadine: In or out, your choice.

ME: In?

Nadine: [Waves us into her house] Don’t just stand there gawking then.

Ma’ya: [Places hand on Nadine’s cheek briefly] Peace to you, Nadine.

Nadine: Oh you are just so sweet. Peace to you too, honey.

ME: What did she show you?

Nadine: Nosey, much?

ME: I am a journalist.

Nadine: Yeah, that’s not a good thing in my book, twinkle-toes.

ME: I am not a pap, if that’s what you’re inferring.

Nadine: Same difference. Let’s get this over with.

ME: If you don’t want to do this, it’s okay.

Nadine: Ashley said I should. So…

ME: Wow. This house is amazing. Steven brought it here?

Nadine: Nice save. Yes.

ME: They even made your lights look like the originals.

Nadine: True.

ME: Stove? Ooh, one from Dherring. I love those.

Nadine: Why don’t you make yourself at home? I have a toilet too. Couch here. A firebox over there.

ME: [Ignores sarcasm] You still have your old fridge.

Nadine: Doesn’t get used much anymore. Unless I want chilled tea.

ME: Sure, I’d love a glass.

Nadine: You’re just a handful, you know that?

ME: Don’t get me started. No sugar, please.

Nadine: You two look like Bilomba flower tea girls, right?

Ma’ya: [looks at Eve] That is accurate. Eve is more familiar with Terran teas, however.

Nadine: Here you go, Mark. With ice.

ME: Thanks, hon.

Nadine: Hon?

ME: When in Rome, right? What was it like? The change from Earth to this?

Nadine: Not as radical as one would think. I still have my house.

ME: True. I bet that softened the blow.

Nadine: Here you go. And you, dear. Eve, right?

Eve: Yes ma’am.

Nadine: You are a cutie. No, Mark. It wasn’t as radical as I would have thought.

ME: It blew my mind. Sci-fi became reality.

Nadine: Sweetheart, I have lived in the age that went from barely flying to men walking the Moon. Captain Kirk’s communicator to our fancy smartphones. Landlines to wireless. Sci-fi has already become reality for me. This… this is just a continuation of that.

ME: Profound. I’ve been spoiled. So, being on an alien planet…

Nadine: I’ve been on several. Mark, George and I used to travel for a living. We’ve been to nearly every landmass on Earth. George even vine jumped on Vanuatu.

ME: Vine…

Nadine: They tie vines around your ankles and you jump off a rickety tower made of sticks. He face-planted in the dirt, but wasn’t hurt. We’ve lived the life. Coming here is just more of that. The people look different. But they’re still people.

ME: It actually looks rather domesticated here.

Nadine: I was tired when they brought me over. This was where I was going to get old and die. This house. This was the only reason I agreed to come. Bringing this here. Home, right? Now, I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve been back to this place in a month.

ME: Kinda like your home became a lot bigger.

Nadine: [laughs] Preach it, brotha. I’m a resident of wherever I go. Just pick a family to visit and stay a few nights. I feel like I got my youth back.

ME: You look it. You’re looking really good. Ashley showed me your Earthling pictures. Big change.

Nadine: Aren’t you sweet. But I’m already seeing someone.

ME: Engaged. Purely a platonic observation.

Nadine: Sure. They all say that. More tea?

ME: Um…

Nadine: Yeah. Um. Girls bring your cups and I’ll top them off.

Eve: I’m fine.

Nadine: Sweetheart, you sucked that down in a second flat. I know you want more.

Ma’ya: I’ll get hers.

ME: You seemed to like Mor’ite.

Nadine: They have a marvelous hot-pot there. Can’t remember what they call it, but it’s basically a hot-pot.

ME: Sure. Your fella must like it too. He’s a Leif?

Nadine: Nosy much, Gossip Gertie?

ME: Meh. It’s what I do. I am just… you seem to have found a new life here.

Nadine: Well, if you must know… too bad. Not your business. Here you go, Ma’ya. I put a little honey in Eve’s.

Ma’ya: I will try some too.

Nadine: Right here… yeah. That’s it. Native stingless bee honey.

ME: They have those here?

Nadine: Not quite like South America’s, but yep. Delicious honey. Stir this in.

ME: Thanks! Yum.

Nadine: When you travel, go native. You will be amazed at what you experience.

ME: I’ve done a bit of traveling.

Nadine: Hunkering down with locals in war-zones while bombs are dropping is not exactly the native experience, fella.

ME: Hey, I’ve been in the Cooperative for several months. It’s been an eye-opener, that’s for sure.

Nadine: Hmph, I think you need more time out in the field.

ME: Trying. Venda raids have restricted my travels a bit.

Nadine: Yeah, those are… I mean why? We have plenty of resources to go around. They’re not occupying. Just… terrorists. Just doesn’t make sense. Thought I escaped that when I left Earth.

ME: You and me, sister. It’s nuts. But you’re safe here, right?

Nadine: Nowhere is truly safe. But I feel better here. Small community on a well defended world.

ME: One can hope. But you’re not here much, are you?

Nadine: Sherry lets me tag along when she’s surveying accidents. She’s enjoying letting me gawk at all the new sites. And we stay with random families. Just invite ourselves in wherever we go. It’s their culture.

ME: Sherry. That’s an Earthling name.

Nadine: Consonants and vowels, cupcake. She’s a sweetie. When her responsibilities on the Council expire this year, we plan on doing even more traveling. It’s a whole new universe out there, Mark.

ME: I see an adventurous spirit breaking out there. Visiting worlds, staying with strangers.

Nadine: Adventurous? Try space-diving with me sometime, tenderfoot.

ME: Space…

Nadine: Skydiving, but from space. Full re-entry. It’s a blast.

ME: I think I’ll pass.

Nadine: Tenderfoot.

~ ~ ~

Well, she’s more intimidating in person than on paper. But wow, what a woman. I can imagine her putting on a pith hat and slogging through the jungles of the Congo. And she doesn’t take crap from anyone.

And no… I am still not going to space-dive. Just… no.

Who’s my next victim?

Interviewing

Cole Deering

I’ve been wanting to sit down with Cole Deering for a while. But now that I’m here, I’m having second thoughts. His family was obliterated back on Earth by some bad guys who were after Steven Crow. The fella had a pretty severe breakdown because of that.

One of the things I find most curious about him is that he is now a product of the Cooperative penal system, if it can be called that. The Cooperative have no jails, and not really anything we would call crime. But they do have methods of handling bad decisions that help recuperate the perpetrator.

From what Steven told me, Cole tried to blow up the homestead on Earth and as many of the aliens as he could, then he tried to blow up the apartment building Steven had resided in that had become a command center for the aliens. Which explains why the apartment now sits on Endard. Sort of. He was a little fuzzy with the details.

In any case, Cole is a patient in the care of the Cooperative legal system and has taken up the task of helping to bring life to a dead planet. Rholling. The interview was anything but normal. We had a couple of unexpected guests. Eliot Coleman, psychologist from Earth, and… a Troll. Yes. A real life Troll.

~ ~ ~

ME: Cole, you’re hard to find. I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.

Cole: Not at all. This way.

ME: Okay. Where are we going?

Cole: [points] I am helping that family.

ME: Should I come back?

Cole: No. You want to see what I do, right?

ME: Well, yeah. And chat with you.

Cole: Chat while we work. Grab that. [points at shovel]

ME: Okay. So, what are we doing?

Cole. The family has picked a spot. Can you get that too?

ME: This little tree?

Cole: That one. [points]

ME: No problem. Wow, this is so different from the Temple we came in.

Cole: We are working to plant a new Temple. But that’ll take at least a hundred years. Here, set the tree down there.

ME: Cool. So…

Cole: [pats my arm] Just chill. This family is donating their elder to us.

ME: Their what?

Cole: [points at an ornate, metal box] He’s in there. These are Leif.

ME: I thought they looked familiar. From Mori’te, right?

Cole: Yep. Now we wait.

ME: Can we chat?

Cole: Shhh. They are saying goodbye.

ME: [whispers] Sorry.

Cole: Okay, they’re ready. Give her that shovel. Yeah, her. Here. Step back a little.

ME: [grimaces] I have no idea what they’re doing.

Cole: Here. [kneels] Help pull the dirt away.

ME: [scoops grey, lifeless silt with hands] You know, it just occurred to me they have shovels. Aliens have shovels.

Cole: [smirks] I suppose you thought they just dug with tentacles or something?

ME: It’s just that, it’s so… so… domesticated. Earthling like.

Cole: Dirt is dirt, and moving it seems to require a universal set of requirements. Not so surprising after all. Pile it over here. Okay, sit back a little.

ME: The box… is that… that looks like compost. I thought it had ashes or something.

Cole: They don’t burn their dead, or pump them full of chemicals. Every species who have donated their loved ones to this project composts them first.

ME: Composted. It even smells like… humus.

Cole: [grins] It’s kinda neat seeing you discover this. I was the same way. My wife and daughter are over there, but they had already been cremated so, ashes. When I go, I’ll be composted like everyone here.

ME: They want me to help scoop?

Cole: Just do it. It is a sign of respect. Just don’t make a face.

ME: Actually, not my first rodeo. I’ve helped locals back home bury their dead. It’s just, I’ve never seen compost like this before.

Cole: Spread it like that. The trees roots spread out.

ME: We don’t want to go deeper?

Cole. The taproot goes down deep into the subsoil. It’s the shallow feeder roots that spread out and benefit from this. There. Okay, help her with the tree.

ME: It’s a pine tree. They have pine trees here too?

Cole: These are native to this planet. It took a lot of work bringing back specimens from collections. There, good. You got it. Just pat that down and let’s cover it up with the dirt.

ME: What keeps it from washing away?

Cole: Look around. We plant native grasses around the trees.

ME: Oh, cool. And shrubs over there. I thought Rolling was dead.

Cole. It is. We’re having to bring everything back. Microbes and all. I just recently convinced the Planet Builders to come to Rholling.

ME: The Trolls are here? Cool.

Cole: They have a Planet Builder working in the ocean, and one further inland. We’ve… this valley kinda started it.

ME: You planted all of these?

Cole: No. Some of the planets… Rholling was sort of a memorial for the past three thousand years. No one wanted to touch it. But a few started coming in and planting seeds with their loved ones. The valley gets flooded periodically so the soil is pretty decent here. Silt, but it holds life once it gets re-established. I came in a few months ago.

ME: I was going to ask you about your transition from vengeance to rehabilitating a planet.

Cole: Okay. Peace to you, and you. Mark, there are some things… peace to you. Thank you for your elder.

ME: Peace to you. Thanks. Wow. That’s kinda profound. I mean, not a tear. These people are so at peace with this.

Cole: No one ever dies to them. They live extremely long lives, then they send their life into the soil and continue living. But, Mark, you have to understand, have you ever lost anyone close to you to violent circumstances?

ME: No. I’ve seen it a lot, though.

Cole: You’ve peeked through a small window. Different people handle grief… differently. I… it utterly broke me. The only thing I wanted to do was leave life, and take those who did this with me.

ME: That I have actually seen a lot.

Cole: Steven stopped me. I don’t know how he did it. But rather than seeking revenge he saved me and they brought me here. Mark, this planet… this whole planet… this was my daughter and wife. Every person here, gone in an excruciatingly violent instant. And as pointlessly.

ME: You found kindred spirits.

Cole: You could say that. It gave me a new perspective. They brought me to this valley, and their response to their grief is this. All around you.

ME: But, wouldn’t they have done this at their homes?

Cole: Exactly. Each tree here is a person who should have been planted on their respective worlds. But they were brought here, to give life to this monument to their grief. And Mark, they included me in this project. Me. I wanted to kill them. I blamed them. I hated them. And even then, they included me.

ME: Your family, I cannot imagine them being anything but proud of you. I am, I had no idea what to expect. Not this.

Cole: I cannot express to you just how deeply I miss them. Every day. But yes, they would be happy for me. And I really love the work. I ran a landscaping and farm supply company back on Earth as well as a farm, so this is right up my alley. Hey, is that Eliot?

ME: What? Oh, it is! Eliot, I’ve been meaning to snag you for an interview.

Eliot: Not today, Mark. But soon. Cole?

Cole: Same as always.

Eliot: Do you want to take a walk with me for a bit?

Cole: Sure. I just need to finish up here. Mark, grab those shovels, please.

ME: These? Oh crap! Is that… that’s a Troll!

Cole: [looks] Last I checked. Rogan?

Rogan: Greetings, Master Cole. We have found more valleys for you.

Cole: Excellent! We’ve just about filled this one up. This is Mark Ellis.

Rogan: [hands prayerfully palm to palm in front of him, and deep bow] It is a great honor to meet you, Markellis.

Cole: Place your hands on both of his. Yeah, like that. It’s how they greet each other.

ME: I am just so happy to meet you. But, I’m just a journalist.

Rogan: You are friend of Steven. You are friend of Trolls.

ME: Ah. Yes, I’m Steven’s friend.

Cole: Trolls hold Steven in high esteem for saving Senin.

ME: [blank look for a second] Oh, the Faerie’s home. I am having trouble conceptualizing that. Steven saving it. Wasn’t it a molten ball of magma?

Cole: Don’t try. It’ll blow a fuse. I think we need to wind this down, though. Eliot wants to have a session with me, and Rogan needs to show me the other valleys.

ME: Thanks. Thank you for welcoming me here. I’m really touched. And Rogan. So… so good to meet you.

Rogan: Peace to you, Markellis.

ME: And peace to you.

~ ~ ~

Notably absent from the interview was Ma’ya and Eve. But they were there. Ma’ya was actually visiting a relative interned there, so they were having their moment of privacy while Cole introduced me to what he does.

I was a little nervous. I had no idea what to expect and was just blown away. And after the disastrous interview with Roland, I felt a little reticent to push forward. But Cole is a really down-to-earth guy. And amazing how serene he is. But out here among the trees, I guess it tends to leave a mark on you.

Most of Rholling is a dead, grey cinder with oily-looking oceans. But now that I’ve been here, I am seeing little spots of green starting to peek out of the lifeless soil, much like little ferns poking out of cooled lava-flows. I cannot wait to see how Rholling evolves over the next few decades.

Now, it’s off to find my next victim, so, peace!

Interviewing

Roland Naber

Roland Naber is not exactly an expat, but he spent a lot of time here not long ago, and I bumped into him at the embassy. Sharon and I were there getting clearance to travel off-world for our respective projects. Roland showed up on his own quest. Then that Keratian dude and Elf lady showed up, and I had my own little entourage consisting of Eve and Ma’ya. It kinda turned into a shindig.

I really didn’t intend to interview him, but he had a few minutes and apparently likes to talk to people. And listen. For some reason, I really got chatty with him. But it was interesting, nevertheless.

~ ~ ~

ME: Today’s interview is on Endard at the Apartment Embassy with the notable Roland Naber, attaché to the White House and friend of Steven Crow. If I remember correctly, they were college buddies. You know, my fiancee and I were college buddies. We would sneak out of our dorms at night and swim in a neighboring apartment complex pool. It was fantastic. But I digress. Or maybe not. I mean, it’s really neat keeping up with your college buddies after you graduate, right?

Roland: [shrugs] This is new. Steven moved this here?

ME: The whole building, man. It’s absolutely crazy. This used to be just a grassy bluff overlooking the coast and bam, an apartment building from Terra. I am still trying to get the details about it though. Steven’s a bit shy. Doesn’t want to brag. But he moved the house of the ambassador’s mother to Legracia, and I think an entire naval fleet out into the bay there, so what’s a little apartment building? And by little I mean huge. What, fifteen stories? Plus underground garage?

Roland: They have an underground garage?

ME: Well, it’s sealed off now. From what I understand, Steven excavated a hole for the apartment to settle down into. Excavated, what, thirty feet of granite. I saw it too. You can go down there and put your hands on it where the ramp used to be. No more ramp, though. There are no roads here anyway. But it’s just mind-blowing. This part is new. Where we’re sitting used to be apartments, but they wanted a lobby, so…

Roland: I knew Steven had some skills, but wow. And a coffee bar?

ME: And tea. Oh, you got some already. All grown here. The Elves have a way to accelerate things. I watched one take a seedling to a full-sized tree in just minutes. Magic, man. Pure sorcery. The coffee is sublime. I think Jonah brought over his plants and they just went crazy with it here. The orchards are up in the mountains a bit further inland. We could go on a tour there if you want. The tea, I think that’s growing in Fahele on Syagria. But I’m sure they’re putting in new orchards on other worlds. But then, they have their own coffee and tea too. So, who knows, right?

Roland: Yeah, I thought Jonah was helping with the farm at Fahele. I didn’t know he had orchards here too.

ME: [shrugs] He is. But the coffee grows better here. Up in the mountains where it’s cooler. And it is, it gets chilly at night. Not frosty, but we enjoyed a campfire out in the mountains not too long ago. With the Williams. They’ve started growing grapes here too. I think they started harvesting this season. The coffee. Try some [points to the coffee bar].

Roland: Thanks. I’m more of a tea guy, myself. [holds up mug] So, what are you doing here?

ME: I’m kinda stuck here. I was selected to embed with the US delegation for the Tour, but got kinda naughty when the government insisted on restricting my work. So, I’m doing my journalist thing. Trying to get into the minds of the expats for starters. It’s what I do, you know. Kinda hard to just shut it off. I mean, I’m not on any payroll anymore but we don’t need money here anyway. I really like getting to know you guys, though.

Roland: So. The video thing, huh?

ME: Yeah. The video thing. Like, none of this would have reached the people back home. Can you imagine that? These wonderful worlds, and peoples, and cultures. The common people on Earth would not have seen a thing. They gave me a special camera. Like a cerebral camera thingie on my temples. The people here. But trying to convert that to something I could send back home was a bear. Steven helped, though. Fella is a genius. Like a super-nerd. Still, I’m sort of exiled here. Not that it really bothers me, but it is a little inconvenient when I want to visit with my family back on Earth. Hey, you work in the White House. Perhaps you can put in a good word for me?”

Roland: Yeah, I don’t have much influence over the DoJ. And by not much, I mean none at all.

ME: Bummer. My parents have visited us here. And Sharon’s. Her sister too. But we cannot go there, so it’s Christmas here on Endard. Oh, we could have Christmas on Niqua – their winters are phenomenal. You know, the world of the Camdyn? Wolfmen? [points to one in discussion with a Keratian guard] I don’t know why it bothers me, the arrest warrants. It’s just… oh, thanks, Sharon. Coffee. Yum.

Sharon: Anything for my favorite Public Enemy Number 1.

ME: See? That’s why. I think she likes it though. Me being naughty. She helped, anyway. But it still sort of grates on me that they would lock us up for releasing the video. It’s not like we released state secrets or anything.

Roland: I’m sorry. You definitely stomped on some big toes with that video. I never heard Secretary Stern cuss so much. It was like, my second day there too.

ME: Really? [laughs] Oh, that makes it worth it then. Damn, I’m so naughty. Hey Sharon, I made Wayne cuss. Wanna make out?

Sharon: [rolls eyes, sips coffee]

ME: [points] There’re my chaperones. I would have never thought I needed one but for this conflict. They’re supposed to make me legitimate so I don’t have my brains scrambled every time I travel to another world. That was… well, it didn’t exactly hurt, but man, my toenails felt it. You getting one? A chaperone?

Roland: [looking] She’s over there.

ME: Her? Oh crap, that’s the Elf who scrambled my nugget. Scared the crap outa me. Like literally almost. And that Keratian dude. Have you ever been gripped by one? Felt like a piece of industrial equipment. But her? Are you really hanging with her?

Roland: Lorei probably had good reason to scramble your nugget.

ME: Crap, she noticed me. Thanks a lot. I feel like I need a foil hat or something.

Ma’ya: She is my great-niece.

ME: Great-niece? Her? Can you say small universe? You may want to let her know I am just now not hearing colors. Seriously, I think she enjoyed it. He sure did. Making me squirm like that.

Roland: [grinning] So, when does the interview start?

Lorei: You ready? Steven’s on Syagria.

Roland: Yeah. Where do I put my tea?

Lorei: [points to the coffee bar]

ME: Wait, I had some questions. You just sat down. I haven’t had a chance to ask you hardly anything.

Roland: Dude, I think I was interviewing you.

Lorei: How’s your head?

ME: Backwards and inverted, thank you. Just, no. Don’t touch me.

Lorei: Don’t worry. Next time I will not have to look as deep.

ME: Huh?

Lorei: I just look for the memory of the first time I scanned you, or when you were previously scanned by someone else. Venda cannot do that, so it makes it easier. You, however, had never been scanned.

ME: Aileen sorta did.

Sharon: Are we still on?

Lorei: It’ll be a few days, Sharon. Have you interviewed Aileen yet?

Sharon: She was my first interview. I’d really like to interview a Troll though.

Lorei: Let me finish with Roland and I’ll help.

ME: Trolls? Now I’m double jealous. Roland, just a few more minutes?

Roland: Sorry, Mark. My ride is here.

Lorei: Steven will be there for a little while.

ME: Great. Steven told me you were one of his best friends in college.

Roland: More like his only friend. He kinda kept to himself.

ME: Really? He seems fairly gregarious now. It’s almost impossible to nail him down for a few minutes. He was like a social butterfly back when I was producing the video. I guess being his friend paid off, right?

Roland: Our relationship is not transactional, if that’s what you mean.

ME: No. No, bad choice of words. Knowing him was fortunate, however, right?

Roland: If you can say being sent to an alien world without warning fortunate, sure. I did get to come back and spend a few months here, though. But it wasn’t exactly a vacation. Steven was having a hard time.

ME: I’ve… yeah, he told me a little about that. How was it, being dumped in an alien environment?

Roland: It’s not really that alien. You know that. People are people, here. Just a lot more cultures. A LOT.

ME: No kidding. I’ve only been to a few worlds and met a handful of the species and haven’t scratched the surface. Sharon has been globe-trotting all over the place. It is so, the Cooperative is so unimaginably vast. I know you’re not officially an expat but have you considered moving here?

Roland: I have a large family back home. It is nice knowing we’re not alone, but I kinda want to stick around and help make things better for Earth.

ME: Profound. I’d considered that. Maybe I abandoned Earth or something, right? But now that I’m here, I could not imagine leaving this. I have family too. But it seems my family here is growing every day. Heck, I made a good impression on that Keratian the other day. He didn’t squish me.

Roland: [laughs] Well, there’s been talk that Steven might close the gates when they are done with the occupation on Earth. You may be stuck here for good.

ME: That would be hard for us. We’re having a blast here and are kinda exiled, but not… but having Earth completely, being cut off from Earth would suck. How are things back home?

Roland: Referring to Earth as home tells me you’re not quite committed as an expat, Mark. But things… they’re rough. Not dystopian rough, though. We’ve managed to keep society together through the war, but it is tough. Now everyone is blaming the aliens for that, and for the pandemic.

ME: Another pandemic? Am I that sheltered here?

Roland: You’ll never catch it. It seems expats and Evos are immune. But we’ve had confirmation of alien origin, so…

ME: No shit. Are they doing anything about it?

Roland: Stern is not a fan of the aliens so we’re pretty much on our own. But the Evos are working behind the scenes, so hopefully we’ll find a solution soon. The last pandemic was brutal. That makes this one even worse. People are just burned out, you know?

ME: Bad timing. Pandemic, war, a war here. I’m ready for some peace and quiet. That’s saying a lot since there was a time when I’d get bored if there were no conflicts to cover. The Venda here have been a serious annoyance.

Roland: Yeah, they mentioned that. How bad is it here?

ME: They’ve steered me away from hot-spots so I’m not entirely sure. I… you know I’m a wartime correspondent, right? But on Earth, you know what to expect. IEDs, bullets, RPGs, it’s all pretty much domesticated. But here, I have to admit, I’m a bit terrified at the idea of trying to get involved. The Venda have weapons we have never seen on Earth, and tactics that are just… are eons proven. These people are nothing to shake a stick at. Have you seen one? Scary. And they can look like you and me too. Even scarier. Okay, I’m babbling. I’ve been babbling a lot. Sorry. Evos. Tell us about them.

Roland: Nothing to tell. We try to keep a low profile on Earth.

ME: So, nothing?

Roland: Nothing.

ME: Right then. You have a meeting with Steven? Anything you can tell us about that?

Roland: Not much I can say there either. Sorry.

ME: Okay, here’s an easy one. Did she scramble your nugget too?

Roland: [glances at Lorei] No. She just found some memories that confirmed my identity.

ME: Well, I guess it’s just me then. I’ve been here for a while though. She could have found my memories.

Roland: She did. I guess she had to dig deeper. Or you ticked her off. She’s waving. So, are we finished?

ME: Yeah. This was impromptu and I feel like I could talk to you for hours, but if you have to go.

Roland: I have to go. Sorry.

ME: No, that’s okay. Don’t feel sorry for me and try to grace me with a few more minutes.

Roland: [stands up] Okay.

ME: Really? Figures.

Roland: [laughs] I really do have to go. It’s been great chatting with you. Let’s do it again sometime when things aren’t so tense.

ME: I agree. I find it easy talking to you for some reason.

Roland: I’ve heard that before. Must be my glowing personality.

~ ~ ~

Okay, that was a disaster. I am so embarrassed. My interviews are supposed to be like relaxed chatting, but this one was off the rails. I was going to delete this interview, but Sharon insisted I post it. It was annoying that she giggled the whole time she translated and transcribed the interview, however. Only later did I find out that Roland has special abilities. He’s an Evo, and his gift seems to be making peoples’ lips looser. Seriously, I’ve never jabbered like that for anyone. I wondered if the coffee had extra caffeine in it or something.

Good news. I got clearance to visit Rholling. There’s an expat living there I’ve been wanting to sit down with. So, until then, peace.

Interviewing

Eve

Guess what? Ma’ya is going to be my official chaperone. Along with her daughter Eve. That means I won’t have to get my brains scrambled again. Or as much. Seriously, it took a few days to stop tasting metal. Just in time for Ashley to introduce me to them at our dinner on Mor’ite.

On a side note, that dinner is exactly like the hot-pot Chinese restaurants back on Earth. We prepare our food items, many wrapped in dough, skewer them, then dunk them into a boiling broth. Every time I think I’m in an alien setting, I see yet another parallel. It’s uncanny.

I am not sure if I’m breaking protocol with my expat interview project, but I am adding Eve to the list. She’s not really Ma’ya’s daughter, but a clone created on Earth. She even sounds like an Earthling when she talks. It’s weird. She and Ma’ya could be twins, almost. But Eve has this Northwestern accent. It’s freaky listening to her speak. From what I understand, she just recently learned Elvish and Common too.

But, she’s been through a bit of trauma, so I’ll probably keep this interview on the light side.

~ ~ ~ 

ME: Hello, Eve.

Ma’ya: I’m Ma’ya.

ME: Are you sure?

Eve: [waves] We’re not that identical.

ME: [squints] Well, Ma’ya does not look a day over 1,500 years.

Ma’ya: Why thank you. I’m actually only a little over 300 years old.

ME: [gapes] But, Ashley said you were over 3,000 years old. Did he pull one on me?

Ma’ya: Pull what?

Eve: That’s a Terran saying for a joke or trick.

Ma’ya: Hmm. Pull one. I’ll have to remember that. But no. I was in stasis for a bit over 3,000 years.

ME: Oh. Like hibernation? For… wow, that’s a long time. So, you don’t remember any of it then?

Ma’ya: I remember every minute of it. There was a… the stasis pod was damaged. Steven became my buffer but we had to wait together for 3,000 years before we could escape the pod.

ME: [counts on fingers] Okay, you lost me. He’s, what, 20? Younger? I’ll just go with it. Eve. How are you doing?

Eve: [glances at Ma’ya – she did that a lot] Um, I’m doing well?

ME: Are you asking me?

Eve: [shakes head and looks down – something else she does a lot] Sorry. I think… fine. I’m doing fine.

ME: [grabs her hand] It’s okay, Eve. We’re just chatting, that’s all.

Eve: You’re jealous of your fiancée. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.

ME: [looks at hand] Reading me like a book. Yes. Yes, I am. But I am proud of her too. Her project is taking her to many worlds and she is meeting the most exotic creatures. Of course, I am now sitting in front of a couple myself, right? Anything else?

Eve: Sorry. I cannot help it. You can let go.

ME: From my understanding, I think that is what being an Elf is all about. Right?

Ma’ya: [nods]

ME: Your hands are amazing. I can feel the strength in those fingers.

Eve: Thank you. You can let go if you want.

ME: [lets go] I want you to feel at ease. It’s okay. Aileen read me pretty thoroughly already.

Eve: Sorry. I’m new to this. People back home… back on Earth… Terra… they, I was not allowed to touch them. Just Anna. She didn’t mind. The others had secrets, I guess.

ME: Eve, you have nothing to be sorry for. I find you fascinating. You sound so… Terran. Where did you grow up?

Eve: British Columbia. My father had an island off the coast.

ME: Father? I thought you were cloned.

Ma’ya: They apparently took a sample from me, then used a surrogate to give birth to her.

Eve: I met her. My surrogate. When I was running from bad people.

ME: So, not like they just built her in a lab, then? You were like, what, an egg donor?

Ma’ya: You can say that. I provided the material they used in an egg.

ME: Does that make her part human? Terran?

Ma’ya: Elvish genetics always dominate. The Terran genetics are discarded. So, she’s basically me. Just a lot younger.

Eve: I’m still me.

ME: Did they keep you caged or something?

Eve: No. No. They were my family. Especially Anna. My father was rarely there, but Anna raised me.

ME: Wow. Did you know? I mean, the fur is a dead giveaway, but, did you know you were an alien?”

Eve: [shakes head] No. I thought I had some sort of condition. That’s why people wore suits around me. Except Anna. But I never got that from her. Not until… until..

ME: It’s okay. Ashley clued me in on some of the details. She was killed.

Eve: She saved me. Got me away. I didn’t know she was shot. Not until it was too late. I tried to help her. To save her. She was the only mother I’d known.

ME: If this is too much, we can stop. I’m so sorry. I got the impression you were like some lab experiment that was caged up. But you, they were your family to you?

Eve: [nods] They were the only family I had known. They always treated me well. Not like some experiment. I mean, they did study me. They would take blood samples and give me tests. But, it was okay.

ME: I can tell this is a bit much. How about more benign questions. You and Ma’ya actually met. How awesome is that?

Eve: [shrugs] Lo’rel found me. I thought he was a monster at first, but he saved me. He had Ma’ya. Then, Steven…

ME: Yeah. Steven. So, it’s like you found your true mother.

Eve: I just wanted to be safe. To not… they killed Anna. She was my mother all my life. Ma’ya, I wasn’t expecting her. But I guess, yeah. She’s my mother too.

ME: Wow. I opened a can of worms here. I’m sorry.

Ma’ya: She is still coming to terms with who she is. Our bond is helping, but she is still quite shy. We are going to visit Steven soon. He seemed to help last time.

ME: So, he was like, the first Elf she had met?

Ma’ya: Yes. Then she met my great niece. And finally me. She is about to find out that she has a much larger family than she ever imagined. That is hard for her. She is so shy. Steven seems to relate, I think.

Eve: I’m… I’m glad to be normal. Finally. That helps.

ME: Oh, you are so incredibly normal, Eve.

~ ~ ~

I think I am going to like having these two as my chaperones. Eve is a character. She’s really withdrawn, but I can tell she’ll be a hoot once she opens up. And listening to her talk is just weird. Other Elves, when they speak English, they sound like, well, they’re from Ireland or something. That lilt. But she sounds like she would be home in California. And her Elvish sounds a bit odd too. Her mouth-muscles haven’t wrapped around that language yet. It will be neat to follow up with her in a few months to see how she’s progressed. Now, who gets to be my next victim?

Interviewing

Ambassador Ashley Loren

It just occurred to me that I have taken up fishing. Fishing for expats. Seriously. I started trying to go find them. Things are just so crazy right now that it’s been nearly impossible to find any of them, and even harder to nail them down for half an hour of tea and chatting. I am probably picking the very worst time to take up this expat interview project. Compounding the difficulty is the conflict happening here in the Cooperative, and the war finalization happening on Earth.

I got a taste of the consequences of the conflict here in the Cooperative just today when I got the opportunity to interview Ashley Loren, former sheriff’s deputy from Washington and current ambassador to the Cooperative here on Endard. I was fishing in the lobby of the apartment building that the embassy occupies and hooked the ambassador. Little did I know, there were some security protocols in place.

While I gathered my notes together in anticipation of a lively discussion on how the Earthling government policies were meshing with that of the Cooperative, I felt like a steel vise had grabbed my shoulders. I mean, it utterly immobilized me. A Keratian had restrained me. It was actually my first time to be touched by one. I’d had discussions with Aradia and got the opportunity to touch her skin. It was like touching a marble statue. Absolutely freaky.

This time, a much larger statue was gripping me. Aradia was fairly petite, very deceptive because there wasn’t anything Earth could throw at her that would give her a problem. But the guys, they are decidedly NOT petite. And this guy looked like, I don’t know, like he was about to squash a bug. I caught his eyes and all I saw was that I had zero value to him other than a quivering pile of flesh.

Before I could digest what was happening, I felt a hand on my face and was instantly reminded of the days of my youth when I used to play with my uncle’s electric fence. I swear, even my hair hurt. Seriously, I tasted colors and smelled sounds. I looked around and a furry lady looked back at me, appearing like she was ready to jump back at a moment’s notice. I felt like my sinuses all cleared at once. Then she vanished and the Keratian walked away. Not a word. Really?

What a start to my interview.

~ ~ ~

ME: What the hell?

Ashley: Sorry about that. Just making sure you’re Terran.

ME: Last time I checked. Look, five fingers per hand. What gives?

Ashley: The Venda raids are hitting core worlds. So, we’ve been screening everyone. I got it too.

ME: At the risk of repeating myself, why? I’ve seen Venda. They are definitely not human.

Ashley: According to Aradia, they have the ability to take on the shape of other creatures. Like human. They actually prefer human because it’s easier for them.

ME: You’re kidding, right? Shapeshifters? That’s like fantasy book crap. Cheesy science fiction. Please tell me that’s not a thing.

Ashley: [laughs tiredly] No. From what I understand, they have actual technology. But Mark, it’s really, really sophisticated. It may as well be cheesy science fiction or sorcery. The Elves have to dig really deep to tell.

ME: That’s what she did? Ashley, I was hearing colors. I still taste metal. That was… horrible. And they’re doing that to all the expats?

Ashley: Everyone who loses accountability with someone. Would be helpful to pair up with one of the locals, I think. Like an Elf. They don’t copy Elves because of their mind thing.

ME: Are they really that hard to detect? I mean, look at me. Who the hell would want to make a copy of me?

Ashley: Anyone who wanted to disrupt things here. You’re talking to me, right? Assassinating me would be right in their playbook. Mark, the Venda are not capturing ground. They’re hitting then leaving. And when they hit, all hell breaks loose. It’s been like whack-a-mole for Aradia’s forces.

ME: I had no idea they were that close to us. Am beginning to think Earth would be safer. Except for those damned arrest warrants, I might actually go back.

Ashley: Mark, you can come up to the offices. We are not set up to arrest anyone here.

ME: I’ll take my chances down here in the lobby, thank you very much.

Ashley: If you ever wanted to go back, we have gates to India, China, and Japan that may be options for you.

ME: I’m pretty sure Interpol has some influence and we know how chummy they are with the FBI and CIA.

Ashley: [shrugs] All I can do is make some calls. There’s no guarantee of anything. They’re still pretty ticked that you went around their censors and just published the video.

ME: What about you?

Ashley: I think it was irresponsible to do. Not without some sort of oversight.

ME: The worst thing the people could have is their unrestrained imagination in a complete void of information. What do you think of when you think alien? Now they see the natives here as actual people. They have families, they eat, and have fun. They work. They bitch about stuff. Like us Earthlings.

Ashley: [nods] Yeah. I am going to have to stick to the official line though. I get your reasoning, but you may have just fed their imagination rather than corrected it. There are a lot of anti-alien organizations popping up on Terra and now you have put a face on their enemy.

ME: Okay, I think this interview has been utterly hijacked. I’m still hearing smells. I was all set to grill you about the communication and shipping limitations you put on us expats. Among other things. I’ve not heard from my brother or mother in days and I still have five bars on my phone.

Ashley: You are aware that there was a global war on Terra, right? As a war correspondent, surely you are familiar with just how disruptive that is?

ME: Most of it was way above Earth, right? In space? How bad is it on the ground?

Ashley: Bad. Some nukes went off. Craters from asteroids. Everything in orbit was demolished too. Secretary Stern told me we are having to rebuild our communication networks almost from scratch. Aradia said their ships are loaning us bandwidth until we get back up and running, but the lag is hell when it comes to our technology having to convert to theirs.

ME: Oh. I’ve been so out of touch since I’ve been here. I just know I’m having trouble keeping contact with my family back home. I mean, I’ve had to deal with that latency issue in Iraq. This is almost a complete blackout. I had no idea things were that bad.

Ashley: I have not seen the damage either. Regarding communications, I’m just parroting what was told to me. I have no idea how they’re applying this bandwidth, so don’t quote me on the technical stuff. I’m lucky I am able to turn the computer on.

ME: Still using Earthling computers? The Cooperative computers are spectacular.

Ashley: And yet you have your laptop there.

ME: Well, it’s easier to set up a podcast since Earth is so backward. Getting that video of mine published was brutal. I mean, it lost a LOT in the translation from their technology to something I could send to Earth. But wow, I am blown away at just how powerful their computing is.

Ashley: Their cores are supposed to be organic. Alive. Kinda creepy, if you ask me.

ME: Little brains, connected to millions of other brains. All in a little brass tube that fits in my pocket. I am floored. We really need the, um, the cerebral stimulated interface I think, we need that back home too. I get claustrophobic on my small laptop screen and keyboard.

Ashley: I have one of theirs, but I don’t use it much. I mean, it interfaces with stuff I need to use, like Mom’s new stove. You can actually feel the buttons. That still bothers me a bit. They’re virtual, and I can press on them as if they were solid.

ME: Uh-huh. We so need that back home.

Ashley: I’m happy with what we have now. Every time they change something I have to learn it all over again. I’m half tempted to break out my notepad again. Pencil and paper.

ME: [laughs] Good ol’ days. Okay, I think I’m getting my mojo back. Seriously, if I didn’t know you better, I would say you did that on purpose. Just scrambled my brains. You could weaponize that back home. Get the interviewer totally discombobulated, man. Brutal.

Ashley: [chortles] I’ll take that under advisement. It is a good idea.

ME: Right. That was nuts. There has to be a better way to detect these fellas.

Ashley: They are masters at infiltration, it seems. Sorry. I have to go through the same thing if I go unaccounted for any length of time. Personally, I still prefer here to Terra. Nadine does too. She’s like a whole new woman.

ME: That segues perfectly to one of the topics I wanted to discuss. You had your mother brought here. How and why?

Ashley: Nadine was dying there. After Dad died, she just seemed to hole up in her house and wait for death. No one should live like that. She’s not that old. And suddenly I am gone too. Not a good situation for her.

ME: Sorry about your father. That happened while you were in Iraq?

Ashley: Yeah. I, um, took it kinda hard. But I was busy getting my ass blown up and shot at there. So, I wasn’t around for anyone when they needed me the most.

ME: Raw deal, man. So you rescued your mother.

Ashley: [nodding] Yep. I got Aradia to set it up. Steven moved her houseboat to Legracia. Freaked out the paparazzi. It was a big operation. They still think Nadine is dead from the fake houseboat we demolished.

ME: Seriously? Oh man, I would have loved to see that. That’s awesome. How is she doing now?

Ashley: Like she’s a new woman. Heck, she looks as young as I do now. Cooperative medicine is like magic. That was my one big regret coming here. Leaving her. Now she’s got friends and a life.

ME: Are the Venda a threat to Legracia?

Ashley: They’re a threat everywhere. But I think the defenses are pretty robust there. You’ve seen the gunships we have here. Scary as hell.

ME: Plus the Keratians. But I worry a little. I’ve been embedded with bands of guerilla fighters. They can really pack a punch then just vanish into the wind.

Ashley: Thanks. I really needed to hear that.

ME: Sorry. I just, we don’t need to get over-confident. That’s all. I’m a little worried with this project of mine. Am hoping to travel a bit for my interviews.

Ashley: Stick to the core worlds, and major population centers. And be prepared to be screened often. I would hook up with an Elf if I were you. They can help get you through those screenings.

ME: I may do that. If I can find one that’s not in the middle of the crisis.

Ashley: We do have a new arrival. From Terra, no less. Ma’ya and her daughter Eve. I… here, let me see if I can find them [fiddles with computer].

ME: No, not that. This one. Move it, yeah. Now that list. Wow, you have a lot of contacts.

Ashley: Not really. Here. Bring up your profile.

ME: [fiddles with my computer] I’ve never done this before.

Ashley: It’s just like casting back home.

ME: And you thought you didn’t know anything about computers.

Ashley: My ex-wife showed me. On my phone.

ME: That was a problem?

Ashley: It became one. Explains the Ex in Ex-wife. There. Contact her. She’s a new arrival so will probably not be up to her eyebrows in work just yet.

ME: Cool. I tried Aileen but she was running around in circles. The only other Elves I know are part of her group and busy as hell.

Ashley: You picked a bad time to do this project, Mark. I would have waited.

ME: Well, I considered that. I may. We’ll see what this Ma’ya girl says.

Ashley: [laughs] Ma’ya girl. Yeah, she’s over three thousand years old.

ME: I will never get used to that. How do they remember stuff? That’s crazy.

Ashley: Yeah. We may have some benefits from the treatment their physician gave us. Ryan told me to expect a few hundred years. Heck, wait until you see Nadine. She looks amazing.

ME: You’re kidding. I haven’t noticed a thing.

Ashley: You’re only, what, thirty-five? Give it a few years. I noticed.

ME: Wow. No kidding. Man, I feel even better about being stuck here.

Ashley: You’re not really stuck.

ME: I am not going to India or China. Just not on my bucket list, thanks. Get your boss to kill those arrest warrants and I’m gold.

Ashley: Yeah, Secretary Stern isn’t… yeah, no. He’s not going to. Maybe the next administration.

ME: Then I guess I’ll have to endure being here. [melodramatic sigh]

Ashley: [laughs] Oh the suffering. My lunch break is about over so I gotta run.

ME: This was your lunch break? You haven’t eaten a thing. I’m so sorry.

Ashley: Oh, they bring me something up to the office to snack on. Don’t worry about it. I spend most of my day talking policy. It was nice to just chat.

ME: Okay then. Perhaps we can chat again sometime. Maybe over dinner.

Ashley: My ex-wife likes to drag me to Mori’te. You’re welcome to come.

ME: [laughs] Three’s a crowd dude.

~ ~ ~

So, I ended up sucking up all of Ambassador Loren’s lunch time. That’s going to look good… NOT. As it stands, I did end up going to Mori’te with him and his Ex. Ashley’s mother was there and we set a date to interview. And I am telling you, she does NOT look like his mother. Her hair may still be gray, but she looks amazing. I am looking forward to the next ten years or so to see how I hold up here. Anyway, on to the next victim.